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How 'bout a Boilermaker?


I was thinking about Super Bowl drinking this week and coming up dry, so to speak, as bad beer and football is not really my wheelhouse, though I can see the appeal and even partake of it myself from time to time. So if you’re looking for the perfect Super Bowl drink this week you’ll have to lean on some other jeez-less cocktail writer. Or you can always suck on a frosty mug of the star-spangled Clydesdale piss that everyone else seems to relish with such sanctity during these high-stakes shoving matches.

My midwestern upbringing does suggest one idea that seems in-line with the occasion, however, at least as far as hyper-masculine ritual is concerned. This, my bully boys, is the Boilermaker, the stalwart progenitor of those latter-day frat-house abortions, the Jaeger and Cherry Bombs, and, to a lesser extent, the Irish Car Bomb. It’s an old-fashioned, take-on-all-comers social drink, simple to prepare and perfect for arrival, halftime, and mourning/celebrating the outcome.

The Boilermaker
8-12 oz Beer
1.5 oz Whisky or other brown liquor

Pour the beer into a glass and serve it next to a shot glass of 80-100 proof Whatcha-Got-Around. Drinkers will make their toasts, clink their shot glasses, then drop the shot, glass and all, into the beer. This should be consumed directly although it is not a race. Don’t let the shot glass hit you in the teeth as you finish up. Repeat periodically to maintain the proper atmosphere of well-bonded buffoonery.

A few notes:

The Boilermaker should not be confused with simply downing the shot and chasing it with the beer. This serving method is aptly referred to instead as A Shot And A Beer, as in, “Good to see ya, Tammy. Heya Mike, how’s work been, buddy? Getcha A Shot And A Beer?”

In my opinion, it is only acceptable to pour the liquor into the beer if you are sans-glass, in which case simply drink the neck out of the bottle and fill ‘er back up.

While I understand that terminology will vary by region, some names are just dumb. For instance, I insist that “Depth Charge” sounds more like a bad-choice-burrito than a blue-collar gentleman’s drinking ritual. Nineteen-year-olds drink Depth Charges. Men have a Boilermaker.

Another terminology quirk, since we are on the topic: A Boilermaker is “made” by the drinker dropping the shot in, thus the host offers to “fix” one instead of “make” one. “Boy what a week. Grab a couple beers out the garage and I’ll fix ya a Boilermaker?”

Don’t be afraid to improvise. Only got tequila and a case of Leinenkugel’s Summer Shandy? Go for it.

Whelp, that’ll do ‘er for this week, gentlemen. Enjoy the Super Bowl and, as I will be watching at Jake’s house this year, Go Pats.

Drink Well.

- Chris

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